When I was 8 weeks I had spotting, but I thought nothing of it, as it only lasted a few days. I guessed it was implanting bleeding. It come back again when I was 10 weeks but then was a constant flow for a week. My GP sent me for extra scans, she had a strong heartbeat but they noticed a blood clot in the placenta. That's where the bleeding was coming from and they told me it would settle.
I got closer to 16 weeks and started to bleed heavily. From there I couldn't keep count how many times I had more bleeds. My GP requested more scans and we found there was a haemorrhage behind the placenta. Luckily there was still great blood flow to the baby and she was happy.
From that point I just had a feeling I needed to do all I could to keep that baby in and to try to reach viability.
At this point I couldn't go a day without wearing a pad. I really thought that this baby wasn't going to last. Each week i was counting down to 24 weeks. The closer I got to 24 weeks the longer the stays were in hospital. I would get discharged to only end up there again at 2am with an even bigger bleed.
When I got to my 5th admission, that was my last. I was there for good. Once I started to reach 24 weeks I was given steroid injections to help prepare her lungs. I felt I was giving the best chance for my baby. At this point the bleeding was constant. It barely ever went away and if it did, it wasn't long till I had another big bleed to start it all off again. The tightenings were getting stronger and more consistent. The pain killers were making me drowsy enough to sleep but never stopped the pains.
I can remember the day clearly when I woke to what I thought was a light bleed. I buzzed the midwife on night shift to come check. I got up on the bed for an examination, and suddenly a gush of water come out of me. The room got busy, my membranes had ruptured. And then the tightenings really started to kick in. My body went into shock, and my heart was racing. I messaged my husband to let him know what happened.
My mum arrived pretty quickly, and by then they had discussed giving me magnesium sulphate, which may stop the labour progressing, but the main reason was to protect my baby's brain if she were to be born early.
After having the magnesium sulphate hooked up, the first 20 mins were the worst. I had hot flushes and felt so sick, with an instant headache. I felt horrible. Mum was counting down till they reduced the dose and I just kept telling myself this was all for my baby. The only thing that made me feel a little better was someone rubbing down my whole body. My mum pretty much did it for a whole day. She was trying to make me feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible.
I felt a little gush again. More blood. The doctors come in to check and she called the head doctor on duty.
They decided to do the operation and get baby out while she was still OK. She was at a good weight for her gestation. I agreed, I wanted best for this baby. My body was starting to fail her inside, I thought she would have the best start outside now.
Once they started the operation they were quick. Once she was out i heard the tiniest cry - it was more of a squeak! We didn't know if it was going to be a boy or a girl when they held her up to me. I didn't have the whole feeling of surprise and excitement as I expected. I just had a feeling of worry, I felt my body had failed her. She was so tiny and she shouldn't be here yet.
The doctors told me that the placenta was pulling away from the uterus wall, there were blood clots all behind the placenta also. I felt so lucky that they decided to pull her out. It could of turned much more dangerous for us both. I really was a ticking time bomb.
She was then rushed into the neonatal intensive care to start her journey there.
Once I was in recovery they were staying how amazed by her they were, they could hear her screaming. She had a good set of lungs on her and this made me feel a little better. I knew she was going to be a fighter.
The first time I walked in there, the machines suddenly went off alarming. The nurse on duty opened up her cot and gave her a little rub, just to remind her to breath again. I wanted to cry. They reassured me that she will do this regularly. It was normal for her being so prematurely born.
She spent 81 days in hospital and only had to have 1 blood transfusion. She started to breastfeed at 32 weeks gestation. She would shock us all with her achievements.
We were able to bring her home before her due date. I couldn't wait to have her home and end those hospital runs 3-4 times a day.
Now she's a very happy 9 month old. She's cheeky and loves to learn about the world around her. We couldn't be more proud of her. Our beautiful Nicarri.